What not to Wear

There's a funny, intriguing show on TLC called What not to Wear. Two highly humorous and rather hoity-toity New Yorkers who make fun of people who dress, well, badly. It's one of our favorite shows, and not because of the fashion so much as the hosts' pervasive snarkiness. (E.g., "That outfit makes you look like your trying to find a date at a women's prison.") Well, we would like to nominate someone as a What not to Wear participant. Our nominee is a 5'10", partially balding, heavy-set, goateed, latino man, who we saw in public with his pregnant wife and child wearing the following shirt:

That's right folks, "Free Chorizo." Now I've seen a lot of trashy clothing choices in my day (mordibly obese women in thong bikinis, for example), but this definitely takes the cake, or the chorizo as it were. Only heaven knows what possesses people, especially fat and inordinately ugly people, to wear this stuff. So here's the moral of this story kids: the next time you think to yourself, "Hmm, I think today would be a good day to wear my vulgar, sexually suggestive t-shirt in public," don't. No one wants to see it (and yes, I'm talking both about "it" and the shirt).