We started our trip to DC and NYC by flying to Baltimore. Before even getting on the plane, we had what we now affectionately refer to as our Dharma and Greg moment. (For those who don't watch much TV, "Dharma and Greg" is a show about an odd married couple. The wife, Dharma, is a new agey wierdo, and Greg is a straight-laced Republican lawyer. Good show. We recommend it.)
We sat down and this woman named Kim immediately turned around and attached to Elliot like a pitbull on a poodle. After interacting with Elliot for two minutes, Kim announced Elliot is a crystal child. Now, for those utterly ignorant regarding crystal children (don't feel bad, we were once one of you), they are kids with divergent DNA who will lead the world into a new age, an age without conflict, lawyers, or books. She then informed us our duty as parents of a crystal child is to get out of his way, and to let him teach us. Evidently, the reason Elliot loves dogs is because he can talk to them.
Things started going south when Dem put some lotion on Elliot. Elliot whined a little. Kim then said, "I want to let you know Elliot's talking to me right now. He says he doesn't like the lotion because lotion impedes his cells' ability to communicate with his environment. But, if you do insist on using lotion, you should believe the lotion will have no effect. That way, the lotion won't do anything and his cells will be free to fully interact with the surroundings." Kim's previous overall kookiness was almost endearing, but the lotion thing was too much for Dem. She saw it as an afront to her mothering skills (and she was right). Thankfully, we boarded the plane at this point.
We sat down and this woman named Kim immediately turned around and attached to Elliot like a pitbull on a poodle. After interacting with Elliot for two minutes, Kim announced Elliot is a crystal child. Now, for those utterly ignorant regarding crystal children (don't feel bad, we were once one of you), they are kids with divergent DNA who will lead the world into a new age, an age without conflict, lawyers, or books. She then informed us our duty as parents of a crystal child is to get out of his way, and to let him teach us. Evidently, the reason Elliot loves dogs is because he can talk to them.
Things started going south when Dem put some lotion on Elliot. Elliot whined a little. Kim then said, "I want to let you know Elliot's talking to me right now. He says he doesn't like the lotion because lotion impedes his cells' ability to communicate with his environment. But, if you do insist on using lotion, you should believe the lotion will have no effect. That way, the lotion won't do anything and his cells will be free to fully interact with the surroundings." Kim's previous overall kookiness was almost endearing, but the lotion thing was too much for Dem. She saw it as an afront to her mothering skills (and she was right). Thankfully, we boarded the plane at this point.
We arrived in Baltimore around 10 p.m. We drove to Gretchen's house and fell fast asleep.
2 comments:
I can't even imagine what I would do if this happened to me. I was laughing so hard while reading it! P.S. I LOVE Dharma & Greg. It is one of my favorite shows!
The alarming thing is that I do know about crystalline/crystal children, and usually they have fair skin. Now, perhaps Elliot has fair dark skin.........but the lotion thing is a bit frightening! I would have been praying to not sit by the lady on the plane. YIKES!
Post a Comment